Sunday Ramble

Life’s a funny thing. One day you’re up, the next, you’re down. Sometimes it feels like you can’t win. Like you haven’t won in a long time. Like your time is soon but it’ll never come.

It’ll come.

You have to keep your eyes open wide. You have to be willing to accept all the good that comes your way, and it comes in all shapes in sizes, even in the midst of a storm. That guy who let you in the lane during rush hour when you thought you weren’t going to get over in time for your turn? He did that to be nice to you. Appreciate it. Did your mom, girlfriend, grandma or friend make you lunch or fix you a snack? They did it because they care about you. Yes, you probably have problems that are mountains bigger than the acts of good coming your way, but you need to appreciate the small things. There’s a lot more of them, so you’ll find yourself feeling appreciated more often.

I had a rough day yesterday. I felt myself pushed and pulled until I was a puddle of mud. But eventually I sat down, and made the conscious decision to pull my head out of my ass and find the light. I appreciated the warm breeze, it felt nice on my skin. I appreciated a coworker who had been complaining to me about their personal life at work, because it showed me they felt comfortable with me. I appreciated my girlfriend, A, and our hours of conversation, even though she wasn’t up to seeing me (A had a long day, I understood). I appreciated that my boss lobbied to try and get me out of work early to take A to a concert that I heard about last minute, even though they were unable (it was a band I was super into in high school, Thursday. I was excited to give A a glimpse into something that had meant a lot to me. I didn’t get to go, and that’s okay. I don’t know A would have cared for it anyway.)

The trick is, you have to keep your head up. Roll with the punches, find the silver lining… Don’t mope. It’ll do nothing but bring you down. Make yourself the best you that you can, and peg away at it, every choice, every day. And most importantly, do it for you. Nobody is responsible for your happiness other than you. If you’re miserable all the time, then it’s on you to fix it.

I’ve seen friends walls crumble by neglecting their misery, by not understanding that they were and are their own source. I can do nothing to save them, it’s as if they want to drown.

 

I didn’t write this for you, I wrote this for me.

J

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